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How to use a perineal bottle and why it might become your best friend postpartum

Posted by Mom Friends on

When I was little and starting to form playmates at school I remember asking my mom about the meaning of ‘best friend’. My mom was usually a woman of few words, but her reply took a very serious tone and she explained to me - It’s not nice to label one friend as your ‘bestie/bestest/alter ego/other half/side-kick’ or whatever because it might leave your other friends feeling left out. A+ parenting ma.

So for 30 years this has been a guiding principle of my relationships with my nearest and dearest. They’re cool and all but no one is the ‘best’. For THIRTY years I lived by that. Until I met my best friend Peri, my perineal bottle. Everything changed.

So out popped baby one winter morn, midwife stitched me up and sent us on our way. As baby and I settled into our postpartum nest together my cares (along with some pretty disturbing bodily fluids) oozed away.

But then the swelling started. You know, down there… and the prospect of taking a pee started to seem a bit… troubling. In any case I decided to grab the squeeze bottle (perineal bottle) my midwife had handed me and headed to the can. Here are some helpful instructions to recreate the scene: 

  • Step one: fill bottle with water
  • Step two: tell yourself what you’re about to do is totally normal
  • Step three: squeeze the contents of the bottle at your tender bits as you drain your bladder
  • Step four: repeat as necessary, because it feels great 

My ‘no best-friend’ rule was forever erased.  

As the days passed Peri and I became real close. Too close. I discovered a few things about her (?). For example, she helps to combat and relieve swelling when used with cold water, but can also be just as relieving warm. She also loves to come along for excursions tucked into my diaper bag.

Peri got me through a rough patch in week two when I was struck with a dehydration-induced bladder infection. She didn’t judge me when during those painful days I would squeeze and refill her half a dozen times in one bathroom visit. She knew I needed her. And she was there. It’s the stuff best friendships are made of.  

Bottom line: Peri was really there for me when I needed her. If you score a Peri bottle (included in every Above & Beyond the Bump Kit) I hope Peri treats you right as well.

Romy and Michelle

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Photo Credit: Meghan Graham

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